Period 2

It’s a freezing cold Monday and though I am trying to break myself of an extreme coffee addiction I pour a cup and grab a breakfast bar and jump in the car REALLY wishing it was a snow day. Across campus I trudge reminding myself how fortunate I am and to count my blessing, not disregard them as punishments.
Good Morning Ms. Lopez!
I say as I drop my dance bag off knowing I won’t see my house until at least 7:30 that night. Up 2 more flights of stairs to Adv world lit where I sit torn between modernism and post modernism. The man who teaches the class has a DR in law and in education, so he argues the points back and forth with himself opening it up to the peanut gallery with 15 minuets left. There are a whole lot of questions and very few answers.
BEEP
On to Period 2 back down those flights of steps and to Spanish. From the moment I walk in that door until the moment I walk out no English will be spoken. Oedipus Rex is left at the door right next to a pile of “OMG!s” and “did you see her tweet?! I mean my gosh!”. Silence besides our little esponal teacher explaining and unknown concept in another language. And that is when the knot comes. The one that pulls tights against my chest and overcomes my whole body. I tense up and start scribble lists down.
The list grows and grows and all that happens is I get more and more overwhelmed and all I can think about is that bag packed in the corner. The one that is keeping me away from home but yet brings me so much relaxation. All day I struggle to go and teach dance or go home and study and do homework. Finally when my list has exceeded the length of my paper I text my mom having her make the decision for me. Honestly what would I do without her? I knew what her answer would be, I knew what I should do but I just couldn’t make the call myself. So home at 5:30 and doing homework until 11. And in 6.5 hours I’m waking up to do it again.
But tomorrow I plan to leave the trudging at home. I will leave the idea of doubt in bed. The knot that consumes me on the daily will be tied in a bow and left in place of my uniform. Tomorrow I will ace the morality test. I will understand the subjunctive. Geometry will not pull my hair out. Tomorrow I will find the good in my education and be proud of the stress. I will acknowledged the grounds I am receiving the gift of schooling on and I will pray for women around that world that someday they may trudge and doubt and sit at a desk doing hours of work on top of the hours of school. Because I am fortunate to experience it now I pray they will complain one day too.

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I should be studying…or doing proofs…or finalizing that design…

Type eeeeerrrrrrraaaaaassssssseeeeee, type, back it up, type, redo.
It’s never quite right. My words feel scattered and unorganized, my mind flipping back to that test I thought I was ready for but am now feeling the pressing need to cram. The quiz I have practiced for yet am scared to walk into the classroom for. The idea and concept that each day I go from information pod to information pod leaving with a tad but more knowledge just to be smothered by the completely unrelated topic I am learning about in the next room. I get homework that reminds me of the idea or scares me of the thought that I may have just learned nothing and/or it was just squish squashed by the thoughts and concepts put in my head by the next teacher. Reminders such as breath make the weight of the idea that I am behind or wasting some teachers (and mine for that matter) time a little lighter. I just get his over whelming feeling that from each classroom i leave ideas incomplete, questions unanswered, and concepts to be forgotten so that I may try and push 40 minuets of information into my brain over and over again. Is there any possible way I am actually making progress or am I just fooling myself here. Is it normal I don’t remember if I took notes in Adv World Lit or had another debate…now what did we debate about…did I forget to take notes on something…is that post it for this class or that one…..

Pour the coffee sista

Sometimes I drop off the face of the earth…sorry ‘bout that. But this time I didn’t, I had to make a list about my to do list. You know the final draft of the to do list, the one thats put in order of priorities and sometimes even categorized to the different sections of my life? Ya, that to do list. Unfortunately that to do list even looks messy. It starts off all in a line, in order, but as I go I remember things I have to do and just throw them down, then the crossing off comes in and there are lines everywhere notes on what still needs to be done and why. The point of me telling you this is that I’m not meaning to leave you high and dry but this falls between make tomorrow’s lunch and pinterest. For real though I wish I had more time for you.

There really aren’t enough hours in a day. Yesterday for example. 6 am my alarm screams pulling me from that fabulous thing called sleep. The there’s that whole school thing–7 hrs later I sit on the side of a road cheering on our Cross Country team. From there to dance (I’m tellin’ you all there is no better feeling than when a kid you teach catches on to a movement/ dance and gets excited about it with you. Ahg I could do that all night!) And all too soon, it’s over. I get home for the first time in 13 hours around 7:30 eat dinner and disappear to do homework, look up and to see that PM is now AM, I cut my losses and get some sleep. 5:30—time to do it again! Pour the tea or coffee or honestly any caffeinated beverage and let’s do this thang.

No, I don’t have much downtime but I appreciate that sweet time when I’ve got it! I have learned to appreciate caffeine in its truest form–black coffee, and messy buns are simply protocol. Lists are a necessity otherwise something will be left out. Even with them not everything gets done. I’ve learned how to say no to extra jobs (I mean kinda…) and pencils are great for erasing. Somedays I most definitely feel like play doh being pulled and stretched and rolled so thin that I get that hole smack dab in the middle but I roll back up and come out whole.

My mom’s friend told me to “Seek to be whole, not perfect.”. Well, I’m a whole lot of a little bit of everything, perfect not being one of them but it’s all a learning experience. No one can learn how to live my days for me, no one can say how I learn best but me. So I will learn to live my days using all but 6 hours for sleep (that’s my goal somedays it more or less but sleep rolls over doesn’t it? Oh it doesn’t? Opps..). They say it takes 20 days to create a habit, but life isn’t a habit– no 2 days are alike. So we adjust and deal.

Just remember– you’re too legit to quit.

Love, hugs, and many cups of coffee
Molly

Almost there.

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You know it’s bad when Summer by Calvin Harris comes on and tears well up in your eyes and all you can think about is that warm sunshine on your face in the middle of July with a sweet tea in hand , getting to go out and conquer your day the way you decide. Tears, real tears roll down my checks all for what? A few tests? Literally 7 hours. I am crying over 7 more hours, and yet they kept coming. 1,2,3, “Stand up and walk away, at this point that is all you can do” I whispered to myself. I needed a serious pep talk. I needed someone to look me in the eyes and say “Hey girly, you are worth more than those numbers on the top of your paper. Your life is more than that. There is more to you than memorizing a few thousand fill in the blanks and vocab words. There is something else behind that brain of yours. Sometimes you just have to work with what ya got, and let me tell you, you have a lot. You have a soul and a heart. You have a personality. You are no robot. No one can expect to just feed you facts and hear them come out perfectly. Why? Because you are no machine. You can’t expect that out of yourself. Be super proud of yourself because you are something better than a non-stop machine. You are a non-stop living, breathing human. A human who has thoughts outside of Interrogated Concepts of Science. A human who laughs more than she studies. A human who loves more than hates. But sweetheart, you are human. You can’t expect perfection out of yourself. Allow a little room for error. Don’t expect yourself to win every time, to get an A+ every time, to love as though that persona has never hurt you. Doing that will only disappoint yourself and the most important thing right now is to be proud of yourself. To walk into that school tomorrow like you have this in the bag. Believe in yourself because never has anyone walked into a test saying ‘I’m gonna fail this thing’ and come out with an A.  You made it through freshman year. Props to you hot stuff. Now there is only 7 hours. That’s all. You’ve been in a car longer than that. Soon that sunshine will be here. Soon you will be wearing over-sized sunglasses, sundresses, and sipping on sweet tea. Soon you will be pool side,  smiling as you feel that sunburn settling in thinking ‘This won’t hurt as bad as that Spanish final, plus this has a positive outcome– a TAN’. Soon my dear. It is all in arms length. You are in the final stretch, 9th inning, 90th minute. That finish line is just 7 paces away. ”

So this one is to all of you crying at the thought of summer. This is your pep talk. Pass it on. Pep talk your bestie into finishing this one out strong.

Hugs, love, and much much support- Molly

People

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There are those people who you don’t remember meeting, they have just always been there. Those people often feel like family, whether you see them everyday or once a week or once a year, you are just always comfortable around them. They know you like the back of their hand and vice versa. I was thinking about this the other day. The majority of my close friends I have known for over half my life, granted I am 14 so that isn’t very long, but for me it is. I met 2 of my very best friends when I started pre school, do I remember meeting them? No. Do I remember pre-school at all? Vaguely. I remember a few things with these girls when I was that young, but not much else. My other 2 best friends I remember meeting them but it is not clear as day. I remember I met them in dance and I was 5 and our teacher yelled at us a lot. I remember that I kept going back because I wanted to see my friends. Friends who, even at age 5, I knew were going to be like family. I chose them at age 5. At age 3. Now sure I’m sure my parents had an influence on this too but still. Cool isn’t it? At such a young age we choose people that are going to shape us in to the humans we become. Adults too, now my parents chose what adults were going to hang around me and most of them are still in my life and I have no clue what it would be like with out them. People are amazing. It is amazing that I may have nothing in common with someone but yet I love them as family. It is amazing that just a persons presents can influence you. Soon these people’s traits become your treats too. Like the way my Nana hugs, she hugs you and then when she is about to let go she squeezes you a little tighter ( they are the best hugs), just the other day someone told me I do that and I laughed to myself thinking, “It really is the little things isn’t it?”. I could be the way you say something, pajamas with a long a or short a. The way you think is even influenced by those around you, if they think half empty, you may fall into the same pattern. I don’t notice the traits that I carry on until someone points them out. It makes you think though. How have I influenced those around me? Do others pick things up from me? Am I being a good influence or bad? I am so lucky to be surround by so many amazing people that have made me into a person I am happy with and I just hope that I can someday do the same for others, I hope that today I do the same for others. 

Love and hugs- Molly

Weekly Wrap Up

weekly wrap up

I like wrapping up my week with you all!! So it is going to be our Friday thing! We have been posting like crazy on the Insta ( yes I nick-named it) and tweetin like mad on the twitter!! If you want to join in on the fun look up @doubletake_x2 !! Annnyyyywwwaaaaayyyyy on to my week!!

Monday- Who doesn’t love a day off? And for a good reason!! We got to chill out and see some fun friends. To start off the day we saw an old family friend and brought her Smallcake cupcakes! I have never seen a person love frosting so much, and it is well deserved, their frosting is nothing short of AMAZING!  After that the fun continued (whhaaaat?! Never ending fun? Yep!) my sisters and I got to be fitness models for my cousin’s wife…so my cousin-in-law..?  And that was fun, I mean any excuse for me to wear overly matchy matchy workout stuff with out being made fun of and act like I’m working out without being sweaty, sign me up!!

Tuesday- No homework and dance class. I say this day is about as good as a school day gets!

Wednesday- Lovin that start life!! It makes your whole day better, thank you extra hour of sleep! Plus watched a great movie in religion October Baby. This really wasn’t a religion movie but it was pretty inspiring! Highly recommend!

Thursday- Again another wonder, beautiful, sent straight from heaven itself, late start. I’m tellin’ ya, they’re fabulous! Also I got to start it off by collaborating ideas in stuco, I get an extreme satisfaction from making decisions and writing down dates….it’s the small things! To add on to a wonderful beginning Mr. Schimty may have forgotten he had a lesson plan and told us stories from his high school years, I was laughing so hard that I thought I had a 6 pack leaving his class!! And I got to end it in dance, always the highlight of the day especially when we bond over the Frozen soundtrack!

Friday- Fun day Friday! Today we had 22 min classes, so not too much work was done, but we celebrated Mass and had a pep assembly!  At the pep assembly we found out who was on our winter formal’s court, I definitely approve of who was voted on! Congrats boys! To end it all pizza was ordered and Friday is bride day on TLC so my night has been planned!

So that’s a wrap!! ( I thought that was a fun way to wrap up the weekly wrap up!!! ) Hope you all had a wonderful week!!

Hugs and Love- Molly

Weekly Wrap Up.

weekly wrap up

What a week! Holy cow! We both have earned our sleep every night. Do you ever feel that somedays you deserve to rest and sleep more than other days? Or is that just me, because it very well could be! But every night this week ( besides Monday, I had a snow day!) I have gone hard all day. My sleep and weekend are well deserved this week!  This week has been full of ideas, girl drama, stressing about school ( yep, first week back and I already am stressed.), trying new things, and most of all putting myself out there; in more ways than one.  So to go along with my theme of the week I will try a new type of witting, a different kind of post.

Monday: SNOW DAY! This day was spent catching up on sleep and being lazy. The only productive thing that came out of this day was I started The Book Thief. So far it is fabulous, highly recommend! 

Tuesday: Back to school. Time to wake up at the break of dawn, start using my brain, and dealing with the girl drama (we have a girls ask guys dance coming up and, well, that should speak for itself!). So it is safe to say I was NOT ready for that. Then off to dance practice.I love ending my day this way, it relaxes me and I get to end my day on a high note!

Wednesday: School…again. Did you know that high school girls are catty? Ha. I would never have guessed. But my religion teacher had the best lecture, it was one of those that leave you thinking long after class was over. And there was dance, to once again, clear my mind.

Thursday: Wake up and go, go, go! First a stuco meeting, then learning, Sweetheart is another day closer ( oh no! ), next off to the pre-school classroom for some service hours and time with those sweet kids! After that was something I was honestly proud of myself for doing,as you may have seen on our Instagram (@Doubletake_x2) I tried out for the school play, and to say I was nervous is an understatement! But I did it and felt good about it! Part or no part I tried something new. Then off to dance again, something new and something old. And I am loving both!

Friday: Today (normally my favorite day of the week) started off by oversleeping and realizing that I may have plugged my phone into my charger but the charger is not be in the wall. After that it lead to a day of pop quizzes (3 to be exact), MORE drama, me accidentally getting into it by trying to help someone out of a situation they didn’t want to be in, finding out 5 of my former dance friends transferred to the opposing school (this hit really hard for me), but then it all was made better by a classic movie Sleepless in Seattle and a good friend, and getting a date so I can stay out of the drama for good!

So there was my week. Believe it or not this week was a learning moment for me and my mom. Sometimes high school is stereotypical, and many times I want to be a social turtle.  But that is when you need to switch it up, try something new, and who knows maybe you will love it. I did. As my dance teacher always says ” If you feel awkward or uncomfortable, you’re doing it right”  That was my theme this week. What was yours?

Hugs and love- Molly